Putting myself in my place

Posted on September 4, 2012

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OBVIOUSLY, my plans to get back on track aren’t working.

I’m having a hard time coping with change. And as a result, I’ve thrown diet and exercise to the side so I can focus on the more pressing matters at hand, like the car accident I was in last week, my demanding hours at the new “job” and the amount of studying I need to do in between everything. It doesn’t leave much time for anything else.

I keep saying things like, “Ok, I’m counting calories starting today,” and “Ok, I’m going to hit the gym at least once this week.” I’m trying to start small and work my way up, but obstacles keep coming in the way. But those are really just excuses. When I started this journey, I said my BIGGEST GOAL was to learn how to balance being healthy with the rest of my life. I have so many excuses for things, it’s not even funny. Last night, I wanted dinner and instead of doing the healthy thing such as going for Subway or Panera, I still chose to go to Five Guys. I wish I could say I had a clear thought process, but I didn’t. I’m pretty sure I had the all or nothing mentality, though. If I can’t count calories everyday, why would one day matter? And there it all went, and before I knew it, I was eating a big burger with too many fries for one.

Talk about toxic thinking.

This is not me. This is not who I am. I like goals. I like reaching said goals. I like doing things that are good for me. I like feeling good. There is no logical reason for me to not try to do my absolute best in trying to gain a healthy life.

A friend of a friend who I met this past weekend asked me for my thoughts on diet pills. I told her that she doesn’t want my answer to that. She asked, “Why?” I said, “Because I barely know you and weight loss is a very sensitive topic and the likelihood of me offending you is very high.” She asked me to be honest. So, I was. I told her that people like to find easy and quick solutions. People who say diet and exercise don’t work for them are LYING. She went on to tell me that she has been trying all her life and it never has worked. So I simply said, “Then you’re lying to yourself. Because unless you have a metabolic condition like hypothyroidism, that’s not even physiologically possible.” When she admitted to not being honest with calorie counting, she said, “I just have a hard time entering things in and always making time to do it.” I responded with, “When you want it bad enough, you’ll do anything for it.”

The funny thing about human nature is that we’re very good at solving other people’s problems and not our own. We’re very good at helping people figure out what the best thing to do in any given situation and how to go about it. Here I was telling this woman that if weight loss was something she really wanted to do, then doing something with as little work as counting calories should be a small enough sacrifice for her to make.

Let’s just say that by putting that woman in her place, I inadvertently put myself in MY place. 

I’m going to start with teeny tiny goals, though. One at a time.

Today is Tuesday, September 4th. My goal for the next seven days until Tuesday, September 11th, is going to be to simply count my calories by entering it into MFP. I am not aiming for a certain number of calories and I am not going to even think about exercise until I meet this goal.

So, here we go. 

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